Next week I have two exams on US History: the Texas EOC and the College Board's AP test. I am not ready for either. Frankly, I don't care that much about the EOC either since the EOC is a joke. The AP test, however, is something that alarms me a bit. I am taking in-person exam so I have to write out my essay by hand. It has been more than a year since I had to write out an essay by hand. My hands are not prepped for this, nor am I mentally prepared for this.

Next up, my friends and I, my homies I should say, have seen some suspicious writing in out group Wattpad account and we have got to get down to the bottom if this. We first had a mystery writer write serious writing, which is a great contrast to the meme and crappy writing that we had been doing before:

the book this was written under was called "Effort." Something else interesting that Jeslyn brought up was that this person doesn't capitalize their i's. That made me think "huh, i do that."

🙂

Anyways, the next anomaly had appeared much more recently:

This one popped up just two days ago and we still have yet to find the perp. My best guess would have to be Amber followed by Jeslyn followed by Jenny.

Amber is a top suspect since she is infamous for her love of nature and birds. She seems to be one of the only people willing to search up (if she didn't already know) the scientific name of a flower. (i searched it up, apparently there is no common name, but even so, who know these kinds of flowers?). Jeslyn is a close second since she is knowledgeable about random things and thus this can be a spew of her random knowledge. (she is also one of the only people i see who are willing to put in the effort to changing the book story cover). Jenny trails in after that since she is the only other person i see who would go out of their way to write something.

But all things will be revealed in time so i'm not all that concerned on finding the culprits.

You know yesterday at midnight, the application to be nominated by Dulles for the Posse Scholarship was due. I had done no previous preparation for the essays and thus my final essay lacked any real depth or substance, which i'm not all that hung up about since it was my lack of planning that got me here.

I won't be sharing the essay I submitted since although the low in quality, it had intimate thoughts about myself and my life. Instead i shall share another essay I wrote as a back up in case my first idea was crap (I had Jeslyn be the judge of whether my ideas were crap or not):

I noticed my classmate had gotten a new backpack which I saw on Amazon during Prime Day.

“Hey, I like that person and I now have a conversation topic! This is the perfect opportunity to make a new friend!”

I didn’t talk to her. Never did. Still haven’t to this day. 

Although it appears I have failed this mission, I still felt like a winner. 

Having never made friends easily, even coming up with the idea to try to be friends and find common conversion topics had been something I was happy to write about in A Comprehensive Satire of Teen Angst and Occasionally Celebrations of Drinking Water (i.e. my journal).

Conversations with me had always gone something like: 

Silence.

Oh how my words bustled with life! Kidding, of course. I was an orator for the books, I should have said. 

Transferring to a new school freshman year of high school led no easy steps to making friends. My lack of social skills was brutally assaulted with a rude awakening: you need better soft skills, lady. 

Everyone knew each other, everyone had predetermined friends, everyone had someone, and I had no one. I sat through every class, muddled with thoughts about how I was the outsider, I was some freak invading these people’s cliques and entourages.

And all it took to change that was an extrovert willing to take me under their wing. A few conversations, mediocre speech analysis, and practicing my talking skills in the mirror a few times, I did it! I made a friend! 

Having that one rock, a person to make me feel the slightest more connected with my school and the classmates that paid no attention to me, had given me a warm embrace into applying myself to the people around me. 

I soon saw people not as threats, but as potential friends! The school wasn’t a labyrinth, it was a cereal box maze that left me a bit sweaty and breathless trying to get from one class to the other. 

My bloom had been conveyed well to my family since they soon forced me to order everyone’s meals at restaurants, and although it is extremely exhausting at times to just relay a memorized order, it serves as a welcome reminder that me, the person with virtually non-existent conversations, had been the candidate for speaking publicly, even if starting a bit small. 

my throw-away essay for Posse Scholarship Nomination Application, 4/30/2021

i had about 2 hours left when i drafted that essay so i stopped trying all that hard towards the last few paragraphs. I would have Jeslyn review both the essay i turned in and the essay above, she would decide which one had more substance, and I'd work primarily on the one she chose.

I really had fun writing the essay at the start. It was abrupt and lightly humorous, as I wanted my writing to be like always. That also reminds me, i had written a little blurb before to showcase my writing skills to one of my friends and i thought still think it is so cute:

Ulgh, Kevin. You know you can’t trust Kevins; there’s just something about them that makes your blood— wait, what happens after curdling? Cheese-ing? But shouldn’t that happen after? No, no, no, I’m going about this all wrong; milk isn’t blood (or maybe blood does become cheese, but who’d eat blood-cheese? Kevins, I bet). Kevins make your blood hyper-curdle (possibly become cheese), is my point. Especially Kevin Nguyens; there’s too many Kevin Nguyens in the world for you to trust any of them, and you can’t trust anyone affiliated with them. That’s why I don’t trust Tadd, the HR rep who hired him (in all fairness, I never really trusted him; you never trust people whose name has a letter that repeats (that is also why my arch enemy’s name is Kkeevviinn)).

writing i made for a friend in in medical terminology, 10th grade

the tangent is the middle is not my favorite, but i still like it a lot! it was just super fun to write and man, the last part about not trusting people who have a repeating letters in their name is just *chef's kiss*.

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